He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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