I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Don't EVER smell your tampon
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
