He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
