he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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