maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i drank out of a bidet.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
