Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
