Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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