just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You've changed since you got that strap on
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
