Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
