update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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