i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
