Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
