i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
