I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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