Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Also, beer. Big fan.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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