What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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