Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
