i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I need moral support for this bender
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
