CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
