chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
