My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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