he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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