where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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