bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
