i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
