I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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