You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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