i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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