Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
