I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
