Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
