Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
