Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We are two peas in an std pod
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
