FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
