Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
