This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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