I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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