even my farts smell like vagina
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
