This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
