I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
