now i know why i became what i already was.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
