My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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