We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
