Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
