she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He passed out mid-signature
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
