He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
