Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
