I want to have your abortion
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
