Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
