On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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