Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
