Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
